The holidays are steadily approaching, all while food costs and all costs really, are at an all-time high. Affording the food, let alone the gifts this year will take some serious planning…
I’m starting to feel the pressure building
The holidays are coming up, and I am starting to feel the full weight of that. I do tend to get stressed this time of year, but it is never really because of the holidays. It’s because of everything that surrounds them.
For me, I have little to no expectations or musts for this time of year. I’d be happy with a nice home-cooked meal, some homemade treats, a nice movie, some board games or a game of cards. That’s all. And even that’s not a necessity for me.
Energy vampires
But what stresses me out is everything else. As an empath, I am sensitive to other people’s emotions and energy and the sheer amount of fear, depression, pressure and stress during the holidays and the weeks leading up to them… it can take your breath away, and not in a good way. It is immensely draining, even with all of the protective barriers I surround myself with.
A mountain of expectations
Then there’s the expectations. First society’s expectations and what not living up to them means for you. That celebrating alone or not celebrating somehow means no one loves you. That you’ve failed in life. Or if you are over 28, then celebrating the holidays without children of your own means you somehow failed to do what society deems we are “meant to do”.
Honestly, what I’ve just mentioned is more than enough to stress a person out. But then we add the consumerist expectations.
Consumerism hurts
We are expected to shop more and spend more. To equate the level of our spending to how much we care about the people that are dear to us. And if we can’t afford much, then we are expected to either take it on credit, or live with the “knowledge” that the people in our lives will think we don’t love them.
That bit alone is ridiculous to me. The gift-giving too… Had it been about sharing what we have, with no expectations on cost or brands or anything like that, then sure. It’s nice to show appreciation for the people we care about. But in most families and groups, it’s not like that. There are certain amounts you’re expected to spend, certain brands and shops you’re expected to have made the purchase from and at… and I can’t stand any of it. It kills the spirit of Christmas, and I’d rather be the Grinch than follow that path.
Black Friday Is A Black Hole
The planet is dying, people are facing inflation, unemployment, homelessness and poverty, and yet Black Friday, Single’s Day etc are marketed to no end. And people spend like there’s no tomorrow. Far above and beyond their means, and often on credit. Those orders are then shipped all over the place and that puts an added strain on the environment.
The fact that people get aggravated if their order takes more than one work day to arrive just goes to show how far we’ve strayed from living with purpose…
And at this point people use Black Friday (and are even expected to do so) as a way to buy even more expensive gifts for Christmas. There’s this idea that because events like Black Friday exist, there’s no excuse not to spend a large amount of money per person as far as gifts go.
Handmade is my way
I have wanted to go handmade with my gift-giving for years. This year I have mostly achieved it, but some gifts had to be purchased. As for the holidays… First I intended to go handmade and I had planned the gifts months ahead of time. I felt so good and relaxed about it. And then I found out the people I had made the gifts for had certain wish lists. And the items I had made weren’t on them. Suddenly I wasn’t sure they’d appreciate or even accept the gifts I had already made them. Which brought on a wave of anxiety.
So for a while, I considered doing the “normal” thing and settle for buying everything and just be done with it. But when I looked for the items on people’s wish lists, I noticed what kind of shops and brands they were sold from… I saw the materials used, the way they had been made… I knew there was a high likelihood that they’d been mass-produced under substandard conditions both for the people involved and the planet. The kind of production I do my best not to support.
It was too much
I just couldn’t do it. The ethical and environmental impact made me step away, but the cost also deterred me. Even if I would only buy very small gifts, there’d still be shipping costs and the regular taxes. Depending on the shops, there could even be import tax to pay. I would’ve had to pay a fortune for something I didn’t even believe in or support.
I’m doing it my way
I decided to do it my way and if my handmade gifts aren’t appreciated this holiday, then I may not participate in any more gift-giving traditions. My entire life, everything I do, always comes back to my belief in living a sustainable life. Even if it is just a few times of the year, I don’t want to compromise on what I believe in or indeed who I am.
Keep learning
So off to YouTube I went. I had a list of items that people in my life had on their wish lists, and so I began searching for ways to make handmade alternative versions of those items. I think I managed to find some good alternatives, and though I haven’t made amigurumi before, I have made a lot of different crochet projects over the years, so I should be alright. I have a few weeks to get them right after all.
The gifts for the siblings’ kids are now planned out, but what about the adults? Well, that part I haven’t completely figured out yet. I may make them some hats and scarves, or find some fun gifts second hand.
To think that decades after the first movies came out, I’d find myself having become a young, male version of Molly Weasley… I’m not upset about it, because she’s brilliant. And I always had a soft spot for the Weasleys. Molly’s handmade gifts, the love all the Weasleys had for each other, the home that always seemed so safe, inviting and warm… I loved all of it. I must say I’m a bit behind on the whole being married in a house with a ton of kids though. But there’s time even for that. Who knows what the future will hold…
How are you feeling about the holidays this year?
Are you planning to do things differently due to inflation?
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